“Bitterness” is from the Greek word pikria. A word which is only found in the four New Testament passages.
Every negative emotion bears its own harvest, however, the fruit of bitterness is the most unpleasant of all. Bitterness if left unchecked will destroy all types of relationships, extinguish the love that should be nurtured and cherished. It is the catalyst for promoting; cruelty within families, disharmony, discord in our professional and working lives and breeding violence within the communities in which we live.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice”
(Ephesians 4:31).
Bitterness is the offspring of many traits, such as hatred, jealousy, and resentment. These traits are not identical but they are closely related. What is bitterness? And why are we so bitter? Bitterness is the remnants of anger that have not been dealt with by the psyche, fermenting sourness. This sourness resonates within, as an attitude of deep discontent, poisoning our soul, destroying our inner and external peace.
Bitterness can be defined as a form of dormant anger and resentment
Bitterness is nurtured out of our refusal to let go when someone or something is taken from us. Bitterness is being continually injured by a mental retention of some event that has occurred or something that may have been said. Indeed, for some people, it stems in the form of jealousy. Occasionally, when we are angry with someone, a consequence of our anger is that we project our anger onto that individual, we are now creating a chain reaction. A person who is abused will retaliate in a similar manner too. This cyclical behaviour continues for a very long time, you will go on being enemies, and if allowed our anger will turn to bitterness.
Bitterness is the unhealthiest emotion you can have. When we are offended or disappointed by another, the resulting emotion of hurt that we experience, if allowed to incubate in our heart, will slowly and surely transform into bitterness and resentment. This bitterness will then take root as ideal conditions are present. Bitterness is regarded as an unforgiving spirit and is largely destructive. Bitterness and resentment are both sinful and self-defeating. Perhaps it grows from the literal loss of; a loved one, a job, of income, relationship. Many aspects of our lives can create bitterness such as loss of reputation, reduction in social standing, the success of another being are but a few examples. Bitterness can be subtle in nature or can grow uncontrollably.
Actions such as hurtful words, attitudes, behaviour can produce great resentfulness with in us. Bitter people will often behave in a stupid and foolish manner, a behaviour pattern which they will often come to regret when bitterness settles. By this time we would have been robbed any little virtue we may have and the damage would have already be done. BITTERNESS IS PAINFUL FOR THE PERSON TRAPPED IN THIS EMOTION. We exist in misery destroying the peace of our mind and soul minute by minute. Bitterness is; powerful, disruptive, evil, having a detrimental effect on our body and soul. Persistent bitterness will be like a malignant tumor.
In some cases unpleasantness and anger may develop from denial or rejection followed by shock or detachment, blame, embarrassment, depression, anger and grieving. These feelings are part of the normal distress process. However, bitterness progresses as people linger and cling on firmly to the anger and the depression of the grieving process. We should remember that bitterness and resentment are an emotionless and suppressed form of anger that expresses itself through complaining, scheming, calculating and sulking.
“The longer you allow the root of bitterness to grow in the soil of your heart, the more love it will devour.”
Bitterness will have a huge negative impact on our spiritual life, slowly eroding our love for our religion, our relationship with our Lord. A spiritualist will realise that many blessings and much inner peace will be taken away in our act of bitterness. Bitter people will lose the ability to be rational and it is their own worst enemy.
“Bitterness is a Killer…Don’t Poison yourself with it.”
Sister S Bemath
An over-enthusiastic and highly religious lady was worried that her husband was a heavy drinker. She used to torment him by her constant complaints and unnecessary advice. With much effort, she managed to bring him to a charismatic convention. After informing the organizers, she occupied a seat close to her husband’s seat and was continuously disturbing him, expressing irritation whenever he showed any sign of sleep or restlessness. She frequently complained to the priest that her husband was not attentive. The priest finally told her sternly, “Please occupy a seat in a different place and leave him alone. Tell more about him to God and less about God to him. It is God’s grace and not your presence that will transform him.
Unknown
A bitter person always seems to find a good reason to be bitter such as: “All I said was this, why does no body believe me, My parents all favour my brother – nothing I do will please them…” , in this way our list simply continues. We should understand that the root cause of our bitterness stems from guilt or our sinful behaviours. Ultimately we have to take full responsibility for what we do, such as our spoken word, thoughts and feelings. There is no one person who can make us bitter. We make choices on how we respond to situations. If we can spend time with well-balanced people, this will help us to remove our bitterness, resentments, anger, and slander, along with every form of malice. In addition what also makes us bitter is our attitude towards people and circumstances. We should appreciate that it is not the people or circumstances that creates bitterness rather that some people are bitter because they refuse to let go by forgiving themselves.
Often the causes of “Bitterness lies in our behaviour”. In the main it is more a mental reaction. Experience such as a ruthless associations, reduced self-image, a history of mistreatment, anxiety, frustration and many other influences can change our overall attitude towards life. Such tendencies are deep-rooted in the mind and nurtured by excessive negative emotions.
For a spiritual person bitterness is a spiritual poison and a means by which many human beings are defiled. For a non-spiritual mind it can be very difficult to recognise, as bitterness unlike anger, may not manifest itself in any particular way, however will dwell deep inside our being. Maybe we should refrain from dwelling over the issues which are causing us distress. By thinking over and over the issues we will only end up feeding our bitterness. We should find hope and encouragement from our religious scriptures that we will get through our problems and find our peace and let it go! Evaluate, if there is anything you need to do personally to solve it, and do it. Ask yourself what the reason/cause of your bitterness is? Sometimes we may find out is our own fault, our own wrong doing.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Eph. 4:31-32
Any negative emotions such as bitterness will affect our energy structure. In this manner triggering a sequence of emotional imbalances, which ultimately culminates in our ill health and becomes our root cause of our sufferings.
“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.”
Proverb
“Make a purposeful decision to get better not bitter.”
When you are offended or disappointed by others and allow the hurt to germinate in your heart, bitterness and resentment will take root. Characterized by an unforgiving spirit and generally negative, critical attitudes, bitterness and resentment are sinful and self-defeating. They will colour your conscious and unconscious thoughts and actions. Allowed to fester, they will destroy and kill However, they can be dispelled with love.
(Galatians 5:19-21).
Sometimes in our bitter state when we cannot get an answer to our questions which creates much discord within us. We turn to blaming God for allowing our pains, whilst at the same time we preach that God does no wrong. If the person you are helping blames God for the hurt s/he has suffered by a wrongdoer, then help that individual make an important distinction: Pain and suffering come from those who have fallen from their human decency and does not come from God or Godly people. We repeatedly break God’s guidance injuring one another. We make mistakes and cause accidents, therefore if we want to be cured of bitterness, then the answer is forgiveness.
A saint was aware his time on this earth was limited. In order to decide which disciple should continue in his footsteps, he handed each of them a seed and said, ‘Take this seed and nurture it with love, all that you have learnt from me and the seed that germinates and blossoms the most magnificent shall take my lead’. Each disciple went away and sowed and nurtured the seed to best of their abilities. There was one disciple whose seed did not germinate. He sat and pondered over all the years he had spent with the saint, questioning himself, ‘Did I not learn anything? Did I gain no spiritual knowledge? Have I not changed as a human being? Are these the reasons my seed has not taken root? With what face shall I take my empty plant pot to my saint?” The day came when disciples took their seeds back to the saint. All the remaining disciples had beautiful, lush green plants and the saint moved from each disciple praising them very highly. This one disciple stood in the corner with his empty plant pot. The saint said, “Why do you stand in the corner?” The disciple replied, “My seed did not germinate. I have evaluated my time with you long and hard I am now unsure of what I learnt from you.” The saint replied, “I boiled all of the seeds and was not expecting any to bear any plants. Others had little faith and was deceitful as they had bought new seeds to pot, but you my child have had faith and reflected upon yourself, the most difficult task to achieve, you have truly understood that the way to the lord and all his gifts open to man is being truthful to yourself.”
United Humanity