Self-control is the translation of the Greek word ‘enkrateia’, which means “possessing power and strong. Having the ability to align our energy with our values and priorities; to focus on a task before us and let other temptations and distractions pass us by. Self-control is self-discipline, self-control is self-honour. Self-control goes hand-in-hand with self-motivation, determination and self-will. If you do not motivate yourself to stop your mind of thoughts, feelings, and emotions, then, naturally, you will not have the self-discipline to assist and support yourself effectively.
Self-control is essential for the happiness and stability of our existence and a great asset. A human has to apply self-control in wide-ranging practical situations in life. At this stage it should be noted that not many religious text use the word self-control extensively. It is a more implied term, however there are extensive references to obedience, submission and sinless living.
“Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.”
Proverbs
The essence of the above proverb is that a city whose walls have been so nearly destroyed will be without defence against an enemy; in a similar manner a person who has no restraint over his spirit, the source of man’s passionate energies. He has no defence against anger, lust, and the other unbridled emotions that destroy the personality.
It is generally understood that the body and mind possess appetites and needs that must be fulfilled however if our needs turn to greed then we can easily be lead to immoral overindulgences. We can fall into the trap that we have to live in an exaggerated state of care and comforts, hence become our norm and as a consequence be pulled away by our desires in many different directions. The society that we live in has taught us greed, our culture has moulded us to seek ample provision for the flesh and material comforts far beyond our needs, drowning the spirit and producing needless anxieties. We have to learn to curb our reckless patterns of behaviour to lessen these insatiable appetites so they do not master us and lead us into sin. A person with self-control will endeavour for incessant and unyielding self-government we should remember that blind passion is not meant to be our guide, we should not be led by society.
One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher, Socrates and said,
“Do you know what I just heard about your friend?”
“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”
“Triple filter?”
“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,” the man said, “Actually I just heard about it and …”
“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”
“No, on the contrary…” “So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really …”
“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”
Unknown
The problem is that within us there are two voices arguing, “You shall, you shall not. You ought, you ought not. The problems related to lack of self-control in all aspects can be immense, yet the answer is very simple. We must either control ourselves using the courage, power and love of God’s Spirit, or we will fall to pieces. People who have good self-control tend to be both more popular and more successful in many areas of life. Those with low self-control, though, are at risk of overeating, addictions and underachievement.
Self-control is not just about doing. When a situation develops, take a good look at it. Figure out what needs to be done, when, and how. Then, take action accordingly. Both jumping the gun and procrastination are signs of a lack of self-control. There is no peace where there is no self-control.
A frazzled mother with a fussy child caught the eye of a grocery store manager. He overheard her say, “Lily, you can do this. We just have to get a few things.” Moments later, when the child became more upset, the mother said calmly, “it’s okay, Lily. We’re almost done.” When the child became hysterical in the checkout line, the mom took a deep breath and said, “Lily, just hold it together for a few more minutes.” As she was leaving, the store manager stopped her. “I just wanted to compliment you on how remarkably calm and patient you were with little Lily.” The mother laughed. “Well, thank you, but my baby’s name is Lisa. I’m Lily. I was just holding it together for myself.”
Unknown
Self-control is developed by repetition. Not just about the parts of life that have spiralled out of control. Our whole life needs to be continuously monitored. For instance, it’s not just about weight and eating, it’s about hygiene, temperament, inattentiveness, and study habits amongst many other habits which have taken hold of us. If you work on the overall discipline, it will start to build up your weakest areas, just as your weaknesses will eventually affect your strongest. However, this discipline-building takes time, and cannot be practices in a hurried or lethargic fashion. It’s hard work to harness powerful impulses and redirect our thoughts toward positive attitudes, but those who do live happier lives in a happier world.
“No one is free who cannot command himself.”
Pythagoras
Self-control especially when associated with self-denial and self-sacrifice—seems to be essentially negative. Conversely, when challenged with a true understanding of what human nature produces, we can see that the fruits of self-control are entirely positive.
For some self-control works best when we know that certain people in our life who are important to us will hold us accountable for our actions. Each of us conduct ourselves in a different manner when we recognise that someone else is paying attention. This process is known as the “Sangat” (participation in religious congregation) in the Sikh religion. We become more aware of the consequences of our actions knowing that we are being watched. Also, another person can alert us to when our self-control is at its worst, since that’s when we’re least likely to think of it.
There are many ways in which we exercise self-control such as the self-control that we need for dieting will be different to that which is needed for exercise. We are faced with many different forms of temptations in life therefore to exercise self-control seems an impossibility as our heart always seems to rule our head. We look around us and it seems that the whole world has lost its’ self-control. Society is evolving rapidly and forever our mind is fixated upon enjoying the next change from the mobile phone to the laptop things which we feel we need and to keep up to date with.
All religions of the world have understood that self-control is essential for any spiritual development, when we have no mental discipline then uncontrollable thoughts (lustful desires, anger, covetousness etc.) become attractions of the senses. These senses and thoughts impel one to do immoral deeds and there will be no place for morality and God in such a person whether one is religious or not. Therefore self-control is central to living a religious and/or moral life.
“O my thoughtless and insane mind, why are you indulging in pleasures? “
Sri Guru Granth Sahib Jee
"Difficult it is to conquer the one self; but when that is conquered, everything is conquered"
Uttaradhyayana Sutra 9.34-36
“The strong man is not the good wrestler; the strong man is only he who controls himself when he is angry.”
Hadith
That man is disciplined and happy who can prevail over the turmoil that springs from desire and anger here on earth, before he leaves his body.
Bhagavad Gita 5.23
Can we stop the tides of the ocean coming in and going out, can we control the weather?
It is true that the mind is restless and difficult to control. But it can be conquered, through regular practice and detachment. Those who lack self-control will find it difficult but those who are self-controlled, striving earnestly through the right means, will attain the goal.
United Humanity