THE PUZZLE OF THE HUMAN EGO
The word ego generally refers to an exaggerated sense of self-importance, which usually results in an excessive preoccupation with the “self.”
In the Indian subcontinent ego is referred to “Ahankaar”. Whilst in Aramaic (ancestral language to both the Arabic and modern Hebrew alphabets) ego is described as “naphsha; an active entity that is the driving force behind our physical and mental state, which behaves in an all controlling self-power".
“He who finds his own naphsha shall lose it, but he who loses his own naphsha for my way shall find it.”
Matthew 10:39:
Ego can be described as the ‘me’, ‘myself’ or ‘I’. A self-extension, far beyond any limits and boundaries of comprehension known to ordinary humans. Ego will drive an individual to any measures to achieve its own aim, desire or dream. People with such high levels of ego will replace the divine values of the heart, with wanting to be recognised as the “one” in the cosmic existence. The only importance for the ego driven individual will be their own views and opinions, necessitating the feeling of himself to be the primary being amongst his fellow brothers and sisters. He will feel that he carries all understanding within, that he represents the comprehensive vision of life. Such a person will not recognise that the thin veil or barrier between him and the Lord will be his ego. The ego creates such delusion that in the scriptures of the Guru Granth Sahib, such a person is described as a black crane waiting to catch a fish, whilst thinking he is as pure as a swan. In other words, the egotistical person with a religious disposition, will behave in an outwardly pious way, whilst being disingenuous in his actions inwardly.
Interestingly In the bible, there is no such word as ego but ego has been spoken about in numerous different ways.
The bible describes Satan’s astounding focus on self: “I will ascend…I will raise…I will sit… I will make myself like the Most High.”
Isaiah 14:13-14
When ego exists within, then you (Lord) you do not. Now that You (Lord) are with me, egotism is banished from within. The wind may raise huge waves in the vast ocean, but they are just water in water. (1)
Guru Granth sahib page 657
Oh Allah how long will this “you” and ”I” exist, please take this “I“ from me so only “you” will exist.
Bayazid Bistami a Muslim Sufi saint
Annihilation of the self
The ego is deeply concealed within an egotistical person, who exudes the impression that the universe revolves around them. Such a person will not realise the impact this behaviour has on their family and friends. The ego inside such a person will make one strong resonating statement within, on every occasion and that is “I know.”
Ego is the primary reason that we will not experience the power of true love.
Ego creates an unrealistic picture of one’s self, manifesting in our mental intellect and spiritual intelligence to unrealistic proportions. In this deluded state, we create a dualistic nature of living. Whereas a saint will say that, ‘I am nothing but your humble servant and friend’; listening to all opinions with peace and grace. The egotistic person who has created this duality of ‘you’ and ‘me’, starts to assume his superiority over others. In his self-created dualistic world, he begins to suffer separation resulting in pain. In this manner starts a journey of conflict and hostility. Spiritualists will say that the world was created with the vision and the harmony of the Lord but ego will not allow us to see the world for what it is. We stand a gasp at the view of the tallest of mountains of the world. But have we for a moment ever considered, that they may have far greater depth below the surface of the earth?
Whereas, the spiritual mind will see the ever-changing nature of our existence; the egotistic mind will be dominated by the dark nature of ego, rejecting the truth and continuing with its’ shady conduct. Like an illusionist who will take away our ability of perception and leave us feeling marvelled at the tricks his hands display. In a similar fashion, we are absorbed and fascinated by the murky hands of ego and what we see, we start to believe is the truth.
“All works are being done by the energy and power of Lord, but due to delusion of ego people assume themselves to be the achiever.”
Hindi Holy Scriptures
Ego needs to develop a relationship with a living human being to enjoy self-gratification. Whereas, the spiritualist will comprehend that our existence is not enduring. Hence, a saint will develop an altered nature of relationship, which he believes is more stable and long lasting. As an example, it is stated in Sikhism; to develop a relationship with shabad (the word and the qualities of the Lord) will reduce your ego to the point, it will become insignificant. In this way, many thousands of Sikhs arise in the ambrosial hours of the morning to practice meditation known as amritvela, in an attempt to understand themselves. Armed with this understanding, reducing their ego gradually, to find a more permanent state of reality. Many other great religions will also have the same methodology but will use a different name to identify the Lord. Everyone, of whatever faith must be respected equally.
The struggles of life arising from the duality of thought will not cease unless we make a positive decision to listen to our religious text. Therefore, starting the journey of self-understanding is paramount. The struggles in life are the tussles of two different forces pulling us apart; pain and happiness, grief and sorrow whereas the spiritual mind will free itself from these struggles. The egotistical mind in its blind psychotic state, continues to suffer the uncertainties of duality.
We should realise that ego will leave us incomplete, unbalanced blinded by ignorance, whilst only our religious text, will enhance our inner knowledge imparting an insight of our true self.
The basic question we need to ask our self is ‘who are we?’ We typically answer this question by; the name we have been assigned at birth, the title we have assumed in employment, as a result of the certificate we have achieved. The net cumulative effect is to form an identity for ourselves. That identity denotes a certain sense of importance, a sense of presence and dominance. This is the birthplace of ego.
Ego is nothing that we cannot understand, it is not a mystery. Since we have not asked the fundamental question of “who am I?“ then naturally, we will define ourselves such as ‘a doctor, a business man, a millionaire, beautiful, pretty’ etc.. Therefore, a sense of possessiveness to defend our identity at all cost will start to develop. All our lives we live without realising who we truly are. In this lack of realisation we lie in our ego, our pain and our frustrations.
The ego controls the human makeup as follows;
1) We have the mind, known as ‘mann’ ( this is both the conscious/subconscious mind that creates wishes and desires.)
2) Then comes the memory storage (‘chit’), this stores the thoughts of the mind much like a hard drive in a computer.
3) Finally, the ‘buddh’ (intellect), our intellect, our decision making faculty. These areas of our being are governed by ‘Ahankara’ (ego), within this domain lies all the seeds of our karma. .
If we do not understand, who we are then the question of ‘what am I doing here?’ will never arise. In this way, our life becomes meaningless or as Baba Jaswant Singh Ji, once put it “are we here just to eat, sleep and be merry or is there a bigger picture of our creative side that we can enjoy at the same time, by enhancing the lives of others?” By posing the question ‘who are we?’ We start the most beautiful and peaceful journey of our life. Many eminent scholars of the Islamic faith state that Jihad is not a war against the views of other civilization but in fact a war against their own personal ego.
There will be many theories to tackle the issue of ego. However, if we take time to spend some moments with the spiritually blessed people, we then by pass the theories of interpretations and go to the very crux or source of that knowledge or that theory. Here in the company of the blessed, we will hear first-hand how to tackle the puzzle of our ego.
Will it be enough to provide an answer to a question or would the answer be better utilised if we understood the calculation and the method as to how the answer was derived? Similarly, constant repetition of an act to reduce our ego may have its place but to have a dynamic and profound understanding of your character is crucial for consistent life changing improvements. A methodology has to be applied and we have to at some stage take ultimate responsibility. Repetition will create habits. Understanding on its own, is superficial and is not good enough. Conscience awareness, free from ego in the realms of humbleness and repetition of religious acts.
The ego of the mind is influenced by our external support structures that the mind has created. However, what the mind fails to comprehend is that in essence we are spirits. Therefore, we as spirits, have no real association with our external circumstances that our exterior events are simply karmic.
Our ego is attached to our social roles, our possessions, our appearances in society that we live in. If our ego starts to feel threatened by any external support structure, this will inevitably result in vulnerability and insecurity for the ego. The ego is very shallow and it will immediately commence searching for alternative support structures. The ego has a very ‘me, myself and I’ based behaviour pattern, which simply cannot survive without external support structures. Spiritualists have realised this, they have removed the false support structure of the world piece by piece; having replaced this structure by the true and loving support structure of the Lord. However, this will not suit the needs of the egotistic individual as his own ego is not being served. Hence, the ego driven individual will move from one relationship to another in an instance. The external world bolsters ego. Love has to be unconditional.
Self-conceited egoistic people will always have their fingers on the self-destruct button, going from one relationship to another. Imploding in nature once all relationships are exhausted leaving nothing behind. Like an individual looking for the constant shade of the tree, moving around as the sun makes the transition from east to west. Our children, husbands, wives, brothers and sisters are our shade then when they move on we are left all alone.
I have travelled all four corners of the world and have realised the only one who supports me in the truest form is the Lord himself, every other relationship has let me down.
Sri Guru Granth Sahib Jee
Religious text will urge their followers to learn and to observe the beauty of the Lord and his creation through the values of humbleness. However, ego has no interest in the values of humbleness. Consequently it refuses to see, hear and learn any words of wisdom.
The mind that is plagued with egotism will be dark and brooding by its very nature. There will be no space for any opinion, respect, humility etc. towards others. Ego is a very obstructive force in the pursuit of spirituality.
The question arises whether anybody has seen ego? What does it look like and how can you surrender something that is unseen? Spiritualist will say that imagine wearing a white shirt whilst taking a walk in the park. The specks of dust are present in the air but they are so small that even our visual awareness of the surroundings cannot detect that fine dust. We only need to start looking at the collar of our shirt after a walk in the park, the dirt will be noticeable to the naked eye. In a similar way ego will never be realised unless we do not have the awareness of ourselves. The total conscious awareness of our thought will be the only way we will identify our ego, therefore, awareness and being alert is the objective manner of the existence of the spiritualist. No one is awake in this state apart from the spiritually enlightened. Physically being awake is a discipline. All discipline is not good. This awareness is not physical but a conscious awareness.
Remembering who you really ARE, and self observation is the mantra for the awareness of the ego.
Ego is the Achilles heel in our spiritual development as it has the tendency to mask or destroy all our inherent goodness. We find that all our personality will be dominated by ego in its’ finest glory. Like Many millions of grains of sand that constitute the beach, in a similar way our very being is dominated by the grains of our ego.
According to the Sikh Holy Scriptures, ego is the very cause of our pain and reincarnations. It is also described as the most prominent force dictating to our emotions, like the General commanding his army.
The nature of ego is self-serving in our relationships with others, interfering (not allowing our true self to develop), negative and is simply destruction. It is great in acting for self-adulation as this becomes a pattern of behaviour of an egotistic mind. Ego will belittle people around them and destroy any hope of success they have in their own capabilities to achieve. Egotistic people will develop arrogance and stubbornness demonstrating great impatience when they feel that their thoughts are being sabotaged by the opinion of another. People with ego will always wear the mask of self-created persona to impress others. Sadly however, it is nothing more than a decoy and is there to hide the real shadowy and murky characteristics of the egotistic person.
Such is the strength, guile and domination of the ego that our true nature is no more than a shadow that exists inside us. In the company of the inspired, we will develop our soul from infancy, where there exists total purity avoiding the dirt of deception of the ego of the polluted soul. Developing directly into a mature soul that is sensitive and self-aware. It will be highly conscious and capable of recognising any inner demons that may be raising their ugly heads. A mature soul will make immense effort to tackle their inner weaknesses through inspired company, trying to create a deeper understanding of the self-journey, whilst realising that this will be an ongoing struggle without a time limit.
Eventually, maturity will be replaced by humbleness accepting, wise and philosophical, which starts to put greater importance on becoming true to themselves rather than the persona or image of what others may or may not think of them The mature reflect balance in every aspect of their lives. They would have found peace in the present and if of a religious mind set, this soul will be pleasing to the Lord. They will be quick to appreciate their weaknesses.
A spiritualist will understand that in the absence of the teachings of our holy texts and the company of spiritual souls, we will not be enlightened enough to see who we really are. In the absence of these teachings we cannot not begin our journey towards yielding our ego to the Lord. We need the light of the Lord’s blessings to be able to penetrate the darkness within us. Imagine sitting in a dark room, even with the best intention in the world we cannot push the darkness out with our positive thoughts, mental powers, wishes, hopes and expectations. Can we push the darkness out by shouting, singing, or praying to the darkness to leave? Of course not. We need to either pull back the curtains to let in the daylight or switch the light on. Even a small oil lamp will help eradicate a certain amount of darkness. In a similar way, the company of the spiritually enlightened even for a few moments on a regular basis, will act like a candle that will be so beneficial for one to see the dark state of their inner being.
In essence, the religious understanding is that we are love. This is our default human setting but ego will move this thought pattern and we will start thinking for example I want to be loved or I need to be loved as opposed to,I am a soul, therefore, I am love. Ego will create need, this need will simply feed our ego endlessly ‘I need this and I need that’. This need will develop into control and now ego has created two powerful allies of need and control amongst it many other allies and is now ready to dominate us. In this stage the human is dancing and singing to the tune of the control of the ego. LET GO AND TRANSCEND EGO.
Let the company of the enlightened individuals truly and with purpose into your life and see the corruption of ego depart from within.
In essence, ego cannot be surrendered or eradicated as it is an intrinsic part of the human psyche, which exists like a mirage in the desert. It has no shape. Therefore, being attentive to your ego is far more beneficial than simply trying to tackle it. However, spiritually it could be said that for us to realise the truth, we will need to understand the untrue. Armed with this understanding we can develop our relationship with the truth. Then through default, our ego can be identified. The world is like a mirror, what we see in the mirror is a direct reflection of us, as the mirror itself holds no image. In a similar way, the world becomes our reflection, such as a teacher at school is a reflection of the pupil. The society that we choose to socialise in is a reflection of our thoughts. The feature of ego is such that it acts as though it is lifeless, yet it is eternal, following us around life after life. To be eternal is not to be permanent, there is a difference. Our soul is eternal and is shrouded by ego moving on from one life to another. The spiritualist will tell you to go from eternal to becoming everlasting. We will have to accept the spiritual message of our religious text.
We should realise that if we take away society (support structure) from an individual, then his ego will begin to diminish without effort. In this way, many religions will instruct you to seek the sanctuary of the saints and to spend less time with individuals who live without purpose. Choose your company wisely.
Ego is very cunning, it leaves an impression of feeling blissful for a religious person when they are practising their religion. It will be existing in your humbleness, it will be existing when you are feeling shy, it will be present in your simplicity, it will be present in your unpretentiousness. The act of helping can be performed under the influence of ego. Would we hold fire in our hands? Would we hold poison in our hands? Of course not because we are enlightened enough to realise, what we are holding onto is dangerous. Likewise a spiritual mind will realise that ego is another form of poison and will do his best to not embrace it. Like a tree that is unaware and calm when one of its’ leaves falls to the ground and die, in a similar way the spiritualist will shed his ego remaining calm and collective in all situations.
We should understand that confidence and ego are not the same. Whereas for humans a certain amount of confidence is essential. The stark difference will be that a man with confidence will look at a particular task and will feel that they could accomplish a task, whilst appreciating that there will be many others who could also complete the very same task. The man with ego will look at that task and say ‘only I can complete this task’. Working with confident people with can be a very pleasant, rewarding experience as they will listen to opinions of all, exuding respect for those surrounding them and likewise command respect in return. Working with egotistical people can be extremely difficult as he will have no second thought in humiliating someone else to preserve his own identity.
Ego must not be confused with pride. There are two types of pride, bad which is unhealthy or corrupt and good which is self-respect and self-preservation. Self-respect is the appraisal of you own worth, self-evaluation. This can also be labelled as dignity and we all reserve the right to live with dignity. Healthy pride leads to self-satisfaction and can lead to humility. Ego leads to arrogance.
The birthplace and progression of ego is in the human mind, whereas pride is born from the heart. When we are proud of something it inflates, warming our hearts. In contrast the ego inflates out mind and thought feeding to the self or ‘I’. For example: I purchased a new car and was very proud to show it off it my friends and family at a family function. Today, that feeling has diminished and it is now simply a car, which I enjoy driving, devoid of the feelings I had on the day I drove it out of the showroom. That feeling was a sense of achievement after being ridiculed by society for many years. How can this pride be damaging? After all it was only a temporary state. Surely, the Lord has intended us to exist with dignity and self-respect.
Once a saint was passing through a street. A man came running and hit him hard. The saint fell down. Then he got up and started to walk in the same direction in which he was going before, not even looking back. The shocked disciple said, “Who is this man? What is this? If one lives in such a way, then anybody can come and kill you. And you have not even looked at that person, who he is, and why did he push you to the ground.” The saint said, “son that is his problem, not mine.” You can clash with an enlightened man, but that is your problem, not his. If you are hurt in that clash, that too is your own problem. He cannot hurt you, it is like knocking against a wall – you will be hurt, but the wall has not hurt you.”
Remember that it is the nature of the ego to take, and the nature of the spirit to share.
Unknown
United Humanity