Through ignorance, unknowingly we seize and hold onto our bad characteristics and only through awareness will we free our self.
What is the purpose of holding the sacred book in your hands when the mind is filled with an ocean of anger?
United Humanity
Anger is an emotion that we will all experience in our lives at some point. It is an emotion that can be displayed when we are unhappy with something or someone, or indeed, when we have feelings of antagonism. The first phase of anger will be expressed by our words and in some cases in our actions. The type of role models present during our upbringing, influence the type of individual we become. So having an upbringing in a household where violence and anger is a regular occurrence will mean for those exposed to this in their formative years will find this pattern behaviour as a way of living, acceptable. There are many reasons for our anger such as impatience and jealousy. This emotion can be mild and manifest itself, as a feeling of irritability. In extreme states of anger one can become extremely destructive to one’s own self and those at which the anger is directed. For some anger is a state of flight or fight situation. Anger may arise when we are upset, when we are going through a grieving process, physical and mental illness, disappointment or injustice. These are but a few reasons that can lead to anger. Long periods of festering in anger is detrimental, ultimately manifesting itself in medical and emotional health problems. Anger is a very difficult emotion to recognise, deal with and more often than not, we will not even realise the onset of anger. Getting angry from time to time is perfectly normal but sustained and uncontrollable anger is not.
Of course, the release of anger is very important but how we release our anger is an understanding that we should try to develop and then follow through. Some people will express their anger through words, whilst others through obscenity and violence. Certain individuals’ will release their anger through sarcasm or the refusal to have any communications with the person that they are angry with. Anger can be very mild or can lead to raging harm. In essence, anger is a very difficult topic to understand.
Suffering from anger in the main is not the problem, but understanding what to do when you are angry is crucial. Like everything else in life we must develop the ability to master and conquer our anger. Some people use anger to intimidate others and for some it is a manner in which we exert our own superiority over others known as bullying. We should understand that we may create fear in others towards us but we will not necessarily gain any respect from them.
‘If we speak to someone with anger, hatred and try to assert our superiority, it will create hatred in the minds of everyone. So long as we have the spirit of love…is there any power on earth that can subdue us?’
Sant Bindranwale
Understanding the base line of why we are getting angry is paramount, rather than trying to supress or vent anger. The amount of physical and mental energy that is consumed when the ‘red mist’ descends is immense. More often than not it is masquerading our underlying issues. Of course, uncontrollable anger will not only affect us on a physical level but also affect various relationships that we have. So trying to understand what triggers our anger is very important. These trigger points can be people, places or certain situations.
For a religious person, anger is one of the primary reasons for not achieving their relationship with God. An understanding of forgiveness is one of the major weapons a religious person will possess, by the practice of forgiveness, they can reduce their anger against people.
We need to learn to let go of certain situations that result in emotions of anger, by mastering the technique of realising our trigger points we will take one-step closer towards learning how to curb our anger. Anger is not all bad, in some cases, people will use anger to motivate themselves to become better people and achieve their maximum potential. In this way they can channel their anger to motivate positive changes. Whereas for some anger can lead to violence, for others controlled expression of anger can reduce the potential of violence. In the right circumstance, I would say controlled anger might be necessary from time to time. Our perception of our negative emotions may well have been misunderstood, as even our negative emotions can have a creative side to them.
Where anger may give some a feeling of superiority and invincibility fear will be the opposite. So therefore, as an example a child at school who has been bullied, can either get angry and reduce his fear to the experience of being bullied, or indeed become fearful and become vulnerable to more bullying.
There is a belief in some religious circles that religion can assist in the reduction of anger and negative emotions. By believing we have no control over our existence will in fact gain control. We will have reduced our levels of stress and expectation. By emphasising that everything is in the Creator’s hands, that all we can do is to try our best, will reduce the feeling and the pressure of the expected outcome of our efforts. Rather than succumbing to the expectations, hopes and ever increasing desires we relinquish them and accept our life the way it is. In this way, we remain mentally stable, our efforts are not judged, so therefore, every effort that we make to achieve our goals, will be executed without the burden of expectation. In this manner, we will sustain a position of high morale, strength and performance.
A Holy man who was visiting the sacred waters for the purpose of ablution saw a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples and asked. ‘Why do people shout in anger at each other?’
All the Disciples thought for a while, and one of them said, ‘Because we lose our calm, we start to shout.’
‘But, why should you shout when the other person you are shouting at is just next to you? You can always express to them your words in a soft manner’, said the saint. All of the disciples provided responses as they perceived the situation but none satisfied the saint.
Finally, the saint said, “When two people are angry, their hearts create distance between each other. In their ignorance, they shout at each other, in the attempt to be heard. The angrier they are the more distance is created in their hearts and the louder they will have to shout to be heard. What happens when two people fall in love? They do not shout at each other but talk softly, because their hearts are very close. The distance between such people whose hearts are close is non-existent.” He looked at his disciples and said.” So when you argue do not create distance in your hearts by shouting, do not say words that will create further distance. Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path of return.’
Unknown
In some religious doctrines, anger is regarded as the ultimate poison, the primary reason for the cycle of birth and rebirth. Religious thought clearly states that our anger is not a manifestation of our external environment but rather, stems from within us and is created by our mind. Therefore, we should not act upon our anger at any cost. Consequently, the virtue of patience must be established within us to control our anger. Whereas anger will only breed anger, patience will reduce our capacity to increase our levels of anger. Feeding anger with anger will only make it more powerful, so patience and compassion must at all cost be understood, accepted and developed. Anger will prevent us from serving God. Anger will prevent us from loving the people that are most important to us in our life. Anger will leave us without friends. Of course, the balance has to be drawn between being an angry, bad tempered person and being a corpse who cannot speak up against the perceived injustices in front of his eyes. A certain amount of anger in the most part may be useful in the correct situations, but vast amounts of anger will do nothing more than cloud our judgements and uncontrolled anger will lead us into the realms of violence and destruction. Any act performed in a state of anger, no matter how impartial it may be, will be no more than a dangerous act, which will not be tolerated in the society that we live in. Therefore sometimes giving somebody the benefit of doubt will help mitigate our issues of anger.
An old Grandfather said to his grandson who came to him with his heart filled with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice “Let me tell you a story said the grandfather to his grandson.” I too, at times have felt great hate for those that have taken so much from me, with no sorrow for what they do. However, son hate wears you down, it does not affect your enemy; it is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times.” He continued, ‘Hate is as if there are two wolves inside me, one is good and does no harm, he lives in harmony with all that is around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so and in the right way. He saves all his energy for the right fight, But the other wolf is full of anger. The smallest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. His helpless anger will change nothing. Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.” The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked. “Which one wins, Grandfather?” The Grandfather smiled and quietly said. “The one I feed.”
An Islamic story
“Conquer anger by non-anger. Conquer evil by good. Conquer greed by liberality. Conquer a liar by truthfulness.”
Buddha
In most cases, anger in fact is a healthy and natural reaction to stress and difficulty in our lives. For many meditation and prayer allows us to directly ask for divine help in releasing our anger.
Many religious prophets in the past have expressed their disappointment in the social injustices through passive anger. In extreme circumstances, such as when Jesus entered the sanctity of a temple, he overturned the tables and benches of those who were buying and selling merchandise in the temple and in this manner displayed his anger by action. In the Sikh religion, the concept of anger is not about personal gain but rather the right for oneself and others to live with dignity. We must realise that the Sikh religion does not encourage, tolerate or condone anger and that there is no place for anger in its teachings.
“Do not meet or approach those people whose hearts are filled with anger.”
Guru Granth Sahib Jee
In life if anyone of our emotions become so intense, then the probability of anger, seeding through our thoughts can become real. As humans we have become so obsessed with desires that the net result of our unfulfilled desires creates anger. Our desires have become so intense that our natural state of existence has all but disappeared, leaving behind nothing but a river of desire. The relentless trickle of constant desires within has led to avalanches of desires. As one desire is fulfilled, another larger desire awaits around the corner to manifest and consume. Within this perpetual cycle of desires lies our frustrations and anger.
It matters little if the desires are not fulfilled for someone with a religious mind sent. Hence, if a desire is fulfilled then it is accepted as a blessing, if not then that is the will of the Almighty. In this all-encompassing, accepting mindset, there will be no room for anger, hate, jealousy, upset or frustration. However, with most people, the mindset that every desire has to be realised and any desire that remains outstanding will simply fuel further frustrations. This state of mind will eventually lead to anger. If we take desires seriously, then inevitably frustrations will settle leading to anger. If we can acknowledge that whatever happens and whatever we receive in life through honest endeavor becomes acceptable to us, then our anger will disappear. We will be left in a position of happiness and love and stability. We should not mask our weaknesses by living a life of pretense, as this will only lead to anger when we are caught out for what we really are. We must get to the root of our anger, understand what is, that is really bothering us and try to face the truth. We can either suffer the consequences of anger or suffer the pain of trying to change. To understand and to become less volatile with better inner understanding. Any anger just or unjust will still leave the same feelings of heaviness, lethargy, frustration, emptiness and hurt. Therefore, if we are angry about something then it is up to us to either feel frustrated and hurt or stay calm, collective and rational and become better not bitter.
United Humanity