Those that once loved me, I now feel are treating me in a terrible and unjust manner! Why do I feel sad and alone? I do not have the energy or confidence to talk to people. Have I done something wrong? Or have they moved on and left me? Is love a beautiful feeling or the ultimate illusion?
A wise man once said: “No medicine is more valuable than a true friend. He will be someone whose soul is a a refuge to creep into, when the world is altogether too much for us. Someone to whom we can confide all our thoughts. His spirit will give us the comforting kiss that heals all the sickness of our preoccupied hearts. He will weep with us when we are troubled, rejoice when we are happy. He will always be there to consult when we are in doubt. We will be so deeply bound to him in our hearts that even when he is far away we shall find him together with us in spirit.”
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The powerful experience of loneliness is something that we will all suffer at some point in our life. I believe this must be the most degrading feeling above all emotions we experience. There are many levels of loneliness such as feeling isolated when you have failed an important school exam, whilst the rest of your friends are celebrating together. For others, a loss of the one you once so loved, is indeed a very challenging experience. For some, the feeling of loneliness when being bullied at school or being bullied at work, is a very dark experience. For others the thought of growing lonely into old age will be a very intimidating thought. Loneliness is indeed a very powerful experience of total emptiness. If we allow loneliness to fester this can start the process of bitterness within us. Loneliness will withdraw us from society and from the ones that we held so dear in our hearts.
It is very important to understand the reasons of our loneliness before we start to get angry with others. Furthermore, we should understand that loneliness is not depression and can effect people of all ages and in different ways. The root cause for our loneliness may stem from bad relationships, stress, frustrations, shyness, lack of self esteem etc. Loneliness is not a physical medical problem but rather a mental problem which will nurture our negative emotions within us. There are some symptoms listed below which may indicate that we may be suffering from loneliness.
Some questions we need to ask our self:
Are we feeling jealousy towards others.
Are we suffering from anger issues?
Alternatively, do we simply mistrust?
Over-reacting to everyday events that you would generally take in your stride.
Feeling worthless, helpless, powerless, unacceptable, self-absorbed.
Frequent sadness, loneliness or resentment
Low self-esteem and the feeling that there is no one with whom you can communicate openly, honestly, and intimately.
Least interest in activities of others.
Sometimes when our peers judge us by way of our looks, standard of education, financial strength or our happiness, then it will be entirely natural that the perception of the people who were once our friends will change for the worse towards us. Of course, we may be lonely due to our experiences growing up in volatile families. In this manner, there will be so many reasons for our emotion of loneliness. Some are simply shy people by nature and create their personal loneliness.
WE SHOULD REALISE THAT THE DESIRE TO BE ON YOUR OWN IS NOT LONELINESS.
The inner void inside us that takes away the joy of interaction is loneliness. High levels of expectation from others will make us feel lonely, if those expectations are not met. For some, loneliness will be a very crippling experience. We need to be careful that if we suffering from loneliness, we must not fall into the illusion of the comfort of being lonely, as this is easily done. Lonely people will need feel that they are loved and will need to be asked specifically to make them feel wanted. We may feel the experience of loneliness particularly hard to bear at certain times such as birthdays and Christmas. Building meaningful relationships will help us overcome loneliness and volunteering is another good way to break our cycle. Of course, medical therapies is always an option. Loneliness has to be tackled. We need to understand our feelings with a rational mind. However, that is easier said than done. So please do feel free to contact the team and let us start together the process of healing with real purpose. We will discuss this topic in much more detail later but today let us start from the basics.
United Humanity